Children And Youth e-Book Fatherhood Interview

What is the definition of manhood?


The MC Part 7 - Children and Youth Life e-Book by Ricardo Butler @
The MC Part 7 - Children and Youth Life e-Book by Ricardo Butler @

I don’t know what the book definition is, but I will give you what the Lord taught me. Manhood doesn’t work unless you are connected to the Father who is the best example of a man seen in the face of His Son, Jesus Christ. Without Christ in your life by default a man is living less than his best. A man is only a man if he is a man OF GOD. How can a father teach a son how to be a man if he’s never seen THEE FATHER teach His SON how to do it. Jesus said,


“I’m telling you this straight. The Son can’t independently do a thing, only what he sees the Father doing. What the Father does, the Son does. The Father loves the Son and includes him in everything he is doing.” (John 5:19-20, The Message).


What does it mean to be a real man?


Wow! I kind of answered this one in the first one! Well to add to it then, I will say that a real man would be one who submits to the Headship of Christ and seeks to do all things according to God‘s Kingdom ways and His righteousness. He is expressing the Father to his children. He is Christ to His wife. He is a man of God in the church and the world.

What do you think the main issues with men are?


I believe the main three issues with me are the temptation for wealth and possessions, the need to control (especially over women), the need to have power over people, and the need for acceptance and recognition. These three things are the sins that Eve committed BEFORE she ate the fruit. These are the same three temptations that Jesus defeated Satan in the wilderness with the Word of God. These three things are also called the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. These three sins attack in all three parts of man (spirit, soul, and body). They are the foundational teaching that Jesus mentioned to the church in Revelation (doctrine of Balaam–lust of the flesh; doctrine of the Nicolaitanes–lust of the eyes; and doctrine of Jezebel–pride of life). These aren’t just the main issues with men. We all face these three great sins and hindrances in our spiritual walk.


What are you thoughts on dating?


Depends on MY child’s age and maturity, plus his or her ability to be responsible. I know we tell our kids they can’t date until after college and they start their first business or ministry, but we know it’s tough. So we will base it on their spiritual maturity and ability to handle their own responsibilities.


What are your thoughts on marriage?


Marriage is one man and one woman who’s connection is not just “in love” but the love OF GOD connected and created from the Higher Heaven of the Kingdom. It should be divinely appointed. What GOD put together let no man separate. We connect usually through the soul (emotions, will, intellect, etc) and the body (flesh, lust, physical appearance), but we hardly get SPIRITUAL connections on the higher dimension. If more people sought their Father’s advice, for more of His will to be done and it would work out for the couple’s good.


What are your thoughts on divorce?


This is a tricky one. But again, if it’s not build in heaven–on the Rock–Christ, it will fall. Anything built on sand (soul and body) will fall and GREAT will be the fall of it. Though I don’t necessarily agree on divorce, in some cases it can become a bondage and God is trying to always free us from some kind of mess we’ve made without His direction.


Paul says that he did call people to peace (1 Cor. 7:15) if the decision was made to divorce. We should always seek to work it out.


I always look at marriage and love as a garden. While most think, “The grass is greener on the other side.” I always say, “NO! The grass is greener where you water it.”


Men and women got to intentionally sow love into each other’s lives expecting that seed to grow. Love is a decision not some funny feeling. When me and my wife fight, I take the initiative to make it right no matter how mad I am. I had to learn this the hard way, through a divorce from my former wife when I was in the world.


What are your thoughts on sex before marriage?


It happens. God is in control and the Bible does say,


The heart is deceitful ABOVE ALL THINGS, and EXCEEDINGLY WEEK: who can know it?” (Jer. 17:9, Concordant Literal Old Testament).


We are week creatures. That’s why Eve and Adam ate the fruit. There was lust already in the heart. Jesus said from OUT OF THE HEART proceeds these desperately wicked lusts (Matt. 15:18-20). Without the power of God, sex before marriage is near impossible, unless you just don’t have a desire for women. Desires are what control humans. It’s a heart function. People will always do what’s in their heart. I am not condoning it. But education from the scriptures and the power of the Spirit of God is the only thing that will beat that.


What are you thoughts on nagging women?


LOVE ‘EM! They challenge my walk in Christ. I wish I could have more around me.


Usually when we want to learn patience we pray to God and say, “Lord I need patience. PLEASE give me some!” And you expect Him to just drop it in your Spirit. NO! God does not work that way. Patience is TAUGHT! Jesus learned obedience and was perfected by the things He had to suffer and endure (Heb. 5:8). So when you ask for patience, God will put you in situations where it’s impossible to be patient. That’s how men will learn how to handle nagging women. By the power of God in that circumstance.


What are your thoughts on men doing things to impress women?


I can’t really answer from experience on that one, because I am super shy. I never approached women. I was too scary! It was easy for me to hook my boys up with girls when I was younger, but not me. I could not do it. I mean I might have dressed to impress and bought this or that, but without conversational skills there was no connection. My former wife and my godly wife talked to me first. A good majority of women I have dated approached me first. It was that or I was introduced to them.


But over all, I think everything a man does is for the sake of trying to “get the girl.” What he wears, the job he does, the car he drives, even his haircut.


What are your thoughts on fatherhood?


I believe fatherhood and manhood are tied together. Even if a man is not a father, there are kids out there that need a man to look up to.


What are your thoughts on deadbeat dads?


I really believe that they want to do the right thing by their kids, but the fact that they know they are not equipped or trained to take care of kids scares them to death. I believe if men were trained by their fathers (that aren’t dead beat dads) they would do well and be confident enough to do right.


What are your thoughts on single fatherhood?


They are supermen! Plain and simple! I tip my hat to them.


What are your thoughts on headship?


Depends on which head you are looking at. Paul said,


“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Cor. 11:3).


And Paul describe the duty of the Head is the LOVE THE BODY (which is those under their loving care).


“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of the church: and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.” (Ephesians 5:22-29).


Paul used words like Saviour, love, gave Himself for, sanctify, cleanse with the washing of the Word of God, present glorious, no spots, no wrinkles, OR ANY SUCH THINGS, holy, without blemish, love them as self, never hated their own flesh, nourish, cherish, and one more word not noticeable but it is there. The text said “Christ” not “Jesus.” The Word “Christ” means “Anointed” and anointed means, “To smear or rub with oil, i.e. (implication) to consecrate to an office or religious (spiritual) service:–Anoint.”


A head is ANOINTED TO BREAK YOKES OF BONDAGE IN HIS FAMILY! That’s what Headship is all about! A man is “anointed” to do what he does in his home. He just needs training for that anointing to be released. It is his OFFICE or official duty as he is consecrated to do it well.


He is a spiritual covering of protection and when those under him step from out under that Satan will come into their “Garden of Eden” and wreck that. Why do you think God called to ADAM FIRST and not Eve? Because the father–MAN–is responsible and accountable for what goes on in his household.


What happens when a head functions properly and all the body follows the head? Answer:


“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious ointment upon the HEAD, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron’s beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments [TO THE BODY–THE HOUSEHOLD]; as the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for THERE the LORD COMMANDED THE BLESSINGS, even life for evermore.” (Psalms 133:1-3).


What are your thoughts on men with abandonment issues (fathers weren’t around)?


To me, deadbeat dads and fathers not being around is the same thing. A dad can be present and still abandon a child spiritually, emotionally, socially, etc.


What are your thoughts on mama’s boys?


They need to leave, cleave, and become one with there own wives. Once out of the home, that man needs to cut authoritative links and chains from his home. When he starts a new family, him and the wife need to read through the bible and lay a new spiritual foundation for their own household, family and the way things should be done.


What do you think about the concept of the Baby boy?


I had no idea what this concept meant, so I looked it up. And this is what I found.


1. Baby boy: A term for a male in a romantic situation. The word can be used negatively or positively. Its been around for years, but has been most recently popularized by Beyonce Knowles and Destiny’s Child.


From “Baby Boy” by Beyonce: ‘Baby boy you stay on my mind/Fulfill my fantasies/I think about you all the time/I see you in my dreams.’


From “Rosa Parks” by Outkast: ‘I met a gypsy and she hipped me to some life game/To stimulate then activate the left and right brain/Said baby boy you only funky as your last cut/You focus on the past your **** be a has what.’


2. Baby Boy: A name for a Male friend, a guy you like or an acquaintance. used as a term of endearment- love or just friendship.


Hey what’s up baby boy are you up for a party tonight?


3. Baby Boy: A term used to describe a male that has no prospects in life whatsoever. A man who drifts through life aimlessly without any goals in mind. See: Scrub.


Popularized by John Singleton’s movie of the same name, which featured Snoop Dogg and Tyrese.


Some characteristics (but not limited to) are:


1) Still lives with his mama,

2) Has no job/money,

3) Has a kid (or children) from more than one girl.


Personally, I still don’t get it. Sorry for no answer here. Guess I’m getting old.


What are your thoughts on gay men and men on the DL?


I have no problem with them as people as long as they don’t try to hit on me.


What are your thoughts on men who hit women?


Now I can relate here, because I am one who hit women before Christ called me. It was the whole reason I went to prison. For this I will give you an illustration.


Now think of a company that makes bike on an assembly line. If you program the assembly line to make every third bike to come off the line with no front tire, is that the assembly line’s fault. It was programmed to do what it’s told. That’s how I view men who hit women. They usually grow up seeing this and thinking it’s normal. Even those who don’t desire to hit women as their father’s did, it’s engrained in them. It’s a generational curse. That spirit needs to be cast out and that man needs healing and re-training in relationships with women. It’s just another education by God issue.


What are your thoughts on men who use women for money?


It’s laziness in action. It’s insecurity inwardly, plain and simple. And for other’s it’s probably a fantasy inspired from TV or somewhere.


What are your thoughts on men who don’t want to commit but will sleep with a woman for years?


Insecurity again. It’s a fear. Something or someone in their past has definitely hurt them making it hard for them to trust again. A woman who gets a man like this needs to be very delicate. She is the potential healing from the Lord to open his heart back up by being a Proverbs 31 woman.


What are your thoughts on men and their communication with women?


They are complicating it. Communication is simply sharing your heart and thoughts. But what makes it hard is when the other party rejects that man or that woman’s heart and mind. That person’s heart and mind is a reality of themselves. To reject my idea is to reject me. Many people define themselves by what they communicate and think. The Bible says,


“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” (Prov. 23:7).


Here are the main things that you should remember concerning communication.


1. Keep It Simple Stupid – also known as the KISS principle. And a bit of kissing could sure help things too. In marriage the KISS principle really works.

2. Communication is vital in a marriage. Talk to your spouse often every day, and pour out all that is in your heart. Both of you should have a turn to talk as well as listen. Do not dominate the conversation, but give your spouse time also to express what is in their heart.

3. Husbands learn to be tender, kind and gentle with your wife. Treat her as if she is something special, and she will begin to feel like she is special. You will also begin to feel like she is special, and your marriage will become more exciting.

4. Wives, learn to be weak and dependent on your husband, even if you seem to be more capable than he is at times. A man needs to feel that you need him. Give your husband the admiration and vote of confidence that he needs, and he will become the loving leader you really want him to be.


Just continue to apply these simple principles every day, and your marriage is guaranteed to succeed.


What are your thoughts on women who sleep with a man before they are married?

What are your thoughts on women who wait to sleep with a man until they are married?


Isn’t this the same question as, “What are your thoughts on sex before marriage?”


And for the second question, I believe that is an AWESOME IDEA! And we need more women AND MEN like that.


What are your additional comments?


This questionnaire made me think and seek God, which was on time, because I am in the middle of my next e-Book called “Children and Youth”. I just released “Marriage and Single Life.” So this just ties right in.

The MC Part 7 - Children and Youth Life e-Book by Ricardo Butler @
The MC Part 7 - Children and Youth Life e-Book by Ricardo Butler @

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**This excerpt was taking from “The ‘MC’ (Master Constructor)” e-Book Series** (Check out the e-Book series @


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Love you and may the blessings of the KINGDOM of the Father come upon you and your family, in the name of Jesus Christ WHO IS THE SAVIOR OF THE WHOLE WORLD! Amen!


Ricardo Butler of Ricardo Equips Artistic Leaders
Ricardo Butler of Ricardo Equips Artistic Leaders

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